3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
