Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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