Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize