Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
