am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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