We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
So squirting runs in the family.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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