over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize