I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
