She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
