If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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