Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(941): View more from Florida

i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket

(212): View more from New York

Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......

(212): View more from New York

Really

(941): View more from Florida

You win

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(303): View more from Colorado

Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher

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(303): View more from Colorado

I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college

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(650): View more from California

Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question

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(914): View more from New York

im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl

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(305): View more from Florida

look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.

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(712): View more from Iowa

I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you

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(330): View more from Ohio

Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.

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(619): View more from California

See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.

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