Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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