You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
