Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
