The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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