I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize