wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
