well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
