The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
