i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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