I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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