I faked an abortion last night.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you win again, gameday.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
