sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
