Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
