is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
