Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
