it wasn't lemon gatorade
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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