Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize