I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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