Me too!
Someone shit on the floor
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
