Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize