He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You need a sexual gate keeper
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
