I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
That's when you crack a 10am beer
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize