thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
