no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
We left an ass print on the piano.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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