best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
