is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
