How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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