Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize
