I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
