We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I cut my penus on the lid.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
