Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
