i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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