So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
All the doctor said was why
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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