He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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