Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
