it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
