oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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