Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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