Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize