I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
