Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.

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(516): View more from New York

you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane

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(850): View more from Florida

Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day

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(716): View more from New York

He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.

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(817): View more from Texas

I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death

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(310): View more from California

I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.

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(205): View more from Alabama

So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.

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