i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
