id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
