Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize