Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
