I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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