But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
