Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize