69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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