So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
