Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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