Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Actions speak louder than pants.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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