i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
