Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
