I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
