and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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