doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
