His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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